The story of my life

I’ll tell you the story from the beginning of my life.
From how I was beaten to when I left my daughter and wife.
Listen carefully for this is true. Imagine a sky falling down on you.
I was born as a cross amid heaven and hell.
With a mother’s love and undying care.
The only one loving me so.
She was the only one loving me to much to let go.
In addition I was raised with a father’s unrestrained rage and bleeding fists.
Every beating sent me deeper and deeper into the mist.

As the devils son I carried so much hate.
As soon as I was born salvation was too late.
I started school as the boy who caught eyes.
And within days I was the ball and even to me it was to no surprise.
For I didn’t look like them or even close to.
They pushed me against the wall and said now we’re gona fuck you.

I ran away, scared and bleeding.
I hid in my closet crushed from the beating.
But soon the anger started to show.
My eyes dried up and they started to glow.
I swallowed the pain, embraced my hate and griped my inner knife.
And left forever the little boy in the room’s closet night.

For a lifetime I waited for a revenge that never was to be real.
Even long past they were gone I still hadn’t healed.
For the scars they had inflicted were too deep to ignore.
My soul was lost and my spirit was sore.

I was lost until I found a version of me. In drugs, fucks and violence.
How could it be?
Well with a childhood as rewarding as a boxing sack.
It wasn’t surprising to be placed among the failures on the rack.
I and the failures slowly grew into greedy backstabbers as we shaped a crew.
Pirates we became and we formed a treaty.
One who told you to be greedy.

Pirates never saw or lived for more then their hands could reach.
But we all had more dreams then corns of sand on the beach.
I had altered my figurative dna as I now was a leach.
I built up more dreams then my hands could reach.

I slowly died once again, with the knowledge that none of them was my friend.
They had all used me as I used them.
It was hard for they had taken me in back then.
They were my family but we all betrayed each other.
I saw this clearly the day I smacked my own mother.
She looked at me with sadness, devastated for the lies I’d created in our lives.
The tears began pouring down, flowing through her eyes.

I fled the apartment supported by the drugs;
I knew better but I embraced the violence bleeding hugs.
I was back on the street with the same old thugs.
I was back to be one of all the bugs.

My life stayed the same for quite a few years.
Building up walls closing in the fears.
Hurting myself, holding in the tears.
Keeping the rep fresh, leading on the gears.

But then a day came when I meet a girl who gave me years of salvation.
An open door to escape the years of desolation.
It took me merely a look to know I had to make her mine.
I throw away the streets and snuffled one last line.
I put a ring on her finger and kissed her for hours.
For the best days of my life we were lovers.
An "accident" gave us a wonder to love for ever.
She was my life’s new written header.
She took the shattered pieces and put them together.
This was my daughter who I would love forever.

I see things differently now.
So ashamed asking myself how.
How I could treat people as garbage pushing them away.
When insde all I ever wanted was to ask them to stay.
I used to punch them, spit on them, threw them in the gutter were I said "they belonged".

Know today that I am sorry for all the people I have wronged.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME?