The winds alights my existence

The winds thrust me towards the future

they help me move on

They bring light when all I see is darkness

the winds alight my existence

on wings of imagination;
I fly among the pearl white clouds with the sun in my face

Soaring were eagles fly I now see everything so clearly



I embrace the winds..


I am the wind of change...

are you blind

What do I see when I chose to see what is really there to be seen?
I see a shore and a sea and over the sea I see a horizon.
I see mountains and mountains I climb to see more.
To see what I can’t see and to not see what I see now.
It’s about to see or not to see, are you blind?

From a feeling to a dream

I can still see it and feel it just as I did back then.
Reality grasped for closure.
Although I was shielded and segregated from it, by an unknown source of power found deep within myself.
The sky was as blue as ever.
But to me it was colourless.
A see-through atmosphere filled with nothing but space for dreams.
I could see the stars as if they were my own to eyes and the light filled me to the rim of blindness.

The moon was to me no longer a portrait on the wall of the universe;
it was a mirror image or maybe an exact reflection of life seen from a different outlook.

The thing that started out as a feeling was now a dream that was on the doorstep to authenticity and so near that I could lay a hand on it.

But as I reached out to it;
the vision that was the dream reviled its self and proved to be a fabrication by my own imagination.

A pocket-sized lie shaped inside my mind had grown from petite to be such a vast thing for me and questions came crawling under my skin asking if it was wrong to assume it would set me free.

Now I’m a jailbird in my own remains and the essence of my former nature screams for freedom!
But why does it scream when it knows that only I hold the key to my inner wretched self

I hunger

The night is falling
Dark clouds torments the sky
Every word out of your mouth
is no more then a lie
The world is starving
Can you feel the hunger
the hunger that I feel
Can you feel the hunger
Deep within me
I hunger for love
I hunger for flesh
I hunger for the unknown, deep in the mist
I hunger for the knowledge.

That doesn’t exist.

My life's spice

My life is flavourless without you

You were my life's spice

You were my salt & pepper

Behind a thousand lies

I miss holding you

Wrapt in your embrace

I miss the image when I looked upon your face

Wishing we could go back

Join hands and say our grace

Slowly die bound by you

Soaring into space

The story of my life

I’ll tell you the story from the beginning of my life.
From how I was beaten to when I left my daughter and wife.
Listen carefully for this is true. Imagine a sky falling down on you.
I was born as a cross amid heaven and hell.
With a mother’s love and undying care.
The only one loving me so.
She was the only one loving me to much to let go.
In addition I was raised with a father’s unrestrained rage and bleeding fists.
Every beating sent me deeper and deeper into the mist.

As the devils son I carried so much hate.
As soon as I was born salvation was too late.
I started school as the boy who caught eyes.
And within days I was the ball and even to me it was to no surprise.
For I didn’t look like them or even close to.
They pushed me against the wall and said now we’re gona fuck you.

I ran away, scared and bleeding.
I hid in my closet crushed from the beating.
But soon the anger started to show.
My eyes dried up and they started to glow.
I swallowed the pain, embraced my hate and griped my inner knife.
And left forever the little boy in the room’s closet night.

For a lifetime I waited for a revenge that never was to be real.
Even long past they were gone I still hadn’t healed.
For the scars they had inflicted were too deep to ignore.
My soul was lost and my spirit was sore.

I was lost until I found a version of me. In drugs, fucks and violence.
How could it be?
Well with a childhood as rewarding as a boxing sack.
It wasn’t surprising to be placed among the failures on the rack.
I and the failures slowly grew into greedy backstabbers as we shaped a crew.
Pirates we became and we formed a treaty.
One who told you to be greedy.

Pirates never saw or lived for more then their hands could reach.
But we all had more dreams then corns of sand on the beach.
I had altered my figurative dna as I now was a leach.
I built up more dreams then my hands could reach.

I slowly died once again, with the knowledge that none of them was my friend.
They had all used me as I used them.
It was hard for they had taken me in back then.
They were my family but we all betrayed each other.
I saw this clearly the day I smacked my own mother.
She looked at me with sadness, devastated for the lies I’d created in our lives.
The tears began pouring down, flowing through her eyes.

I fled the apartment supported by the drugs;
I knew better but I embraced the violence bleeding hugs.
I was back on the street with the same old thugs.
I was back to be one of all the bugs.

My life stayed the same for quite a few years.
Building up walls closing in the fears.
Hurting myself, holding in the tears.
Keeping the rep fresh, leading on the gears.

But then a day came when I meet a girl who gave me years of salvation.
An open door to escape the years of desolation.
It took me merely a look to know I had to make her mine.
I throw away the streets and snuffled one last line.
I put a ring on her finger and kissed her for hours.
For the best days of my life we were lovers.
An "accident" gave us a wonder to love for ever.
She was my life’s new written header.
She took the shattered pieces and put them together.
This was my daughter who I would love forever.

I see things differently now.
So ashamed asking myself how.
How I could treat people as garbage pushing them away.
When insde all I ever wanted was to ask them to stay.
I used to punch them, spit on them, threw them in the gutter were I said "they belonged".

Know today that I am sorry for all the people I have wronged.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME?